Royal and the Serpent - Overwhelmed - current mood

Turn off the TV it's starting to freak me
Out it's so loud it's like my ears are bleeding
What am I feeling? Can't look at the ceiling
The light is so bright it's like I'm overheating

This mind isn't mine, who am I to judge?
Oh, I should be fine but it's all too much

I get overwhelmed so easily
My anxiety creeps inside of me
Makes it hard to breathe
What's come over me?
Feels like I'm somebody else

I get overwhelmed so easily
My anxiety keeps me silent
When I try to speak
What's come over me?
Feels like I'm somebody else
I get overwhelmed

All of these faces who don't know what space is
And crowds are shut down I'm overstimulated
Nobody gets it, say I'm too sensitive
I can't listen 'cause I'm eyeing the exits

This mind isn't mine, who am I to judge?
Oh, I should be fine but it's all too much

I get overwhelmed so easily
My anxiety creeps inside of me
Makes it hard to breathe
What's come over me?
Feels like I'm somebody else

I get overwhelmed so easily
My anxiety keeps me silent
When I try to speak
What's come over me?
Feels like I'm somebody else

I get overwhelmed
(Aah-ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah)

I should be fine but it's all too much
I should be fine but I'm not

My Strange Idea for Today

Sinking in the Void with a song in my head

The Toxic Trait

Did I mention before that my zodiac is Aquarius?… And not any Aquarius… the cursed February Aquarius!!

And despite the fact that it is an air sign… the symbol is the water bearer

This contradiction has caused chaos in my life

Dont get me wrong I dont say contradicting things… my words are solid and I hardly change them… but when one is ruled by wind and water… one turns into a hurricane.

Moreover, they call us the alien of the zodiac signs… our unique nature is too strong to be masked by following the common human rules 

I noticed that this word never ceases to appear in my life… seems that I am truly an alien who doesn’t belong to her surrounding

But i am not here to speak about my zodiac… I am here because I came across an analysis that mentioned Aquarius worst and most toxic trait… which is… living in the past!!

And as if a revelation of truth dawned upon me… it is true… I linger in the past… I let it roam in my mind… freely leeching off over my present … ruining my future

Every day i recall flashes from the past… prey on my soul… stuff my brain with all good and bad memories alike

When i remember the smell of my mother’s food, and what she use to do when i am sick 

When i remember my pain after realizing how horrible my choice of friends is

When i remember how i tried for a long time to find a shelter for my broken heart and fail 

When i remember that i allowed myself to be used and abused by almost everyone i know

When i remember that i shouldn’t give up my true self for anything or anyone, and I shouldn’t have chosen the easy path… that i should have tried to reach my dream… and explore the marvelous world inside my mind 

I linger in the past… why I still linger in the past

Trapped inside my mind… between I-wish-I-live-that-again and I-wish-I-never-did-that

Trapped and blinded… and at the end of the day i am too exhausted to think about today and tomorrow 

Trapped and blinded and mute… for I cannot speak loudly about my past… it will be in vain

Now the million dollar question… how to burry this past… how to live in peace… how can I reapportion all this wasted energy… embracing the present… planing for the future

Unfortunately it is a trait… a significant characteristic that will not go away… all I can do is to try to live with it… distract myself… maybe read and write more… I don’t know… I truly don’t know!

All I know is that I shall linger in the past… till I become a past myself… destiny written and cannot be altered 

My strange idea for the day

I need to restart my brain