May 07, 2008

I am ... Achilles




Of course many of you have seen the great movie TROY... and the major character played by my beloved Brad Pitt... Achilles


you will not believe me if i said that i just saw a part of it, few days ago... a beautiful movie, excellent choice of actors, and great performance... it attracted me with its beautiful music and the feeling it generates in my mind and soul... yeh yeh :) i am a classic myth fan, and i didnt see it :) why!! i dunno


Anyways what attracted me the most is a conversation between King Agamemnon and an advisor, speaking of Achilles


The king: but he cannot be controlled


The Advisor: you don't need to control him.... you need to unleash him


:) smiles upon the warm lips of those who know me well ... i feel that these words were written for me.... to deliver me a hidden message from god


these words rang in my head and made me realize that:


I don't need to cry for the blesses and graces god granted me


I don't need to hate the facts that i am another


I don't need to follow the mortal rules while i can go in my godly path


i don't need to control my feminine powers, my talents, my charm, my imagination, my life


all what i need to do is to unleash the real me... the one hidden and think she is a black duck, while she is a beautiful swan


I am Achilles

The rebellious

The gifted

The able


My Strange Idea for Today


Isn't this article strange enough for you :)

April 30, 2008

The Myth and Me



Reading nowadays classical myth from all world nations - as if my own mythical world is not enough - feeding my imagination and senses with beautiful stories, and marvelous explanations of every single aspect in life.


I am not only amazed by the beauty of the myth ... but by the wondrous human mind... that spins this coherent texture of myths, legends, and amazing complicated relations


But actually this is not the reason behind writing this post... it is that while reading each story i find myself in the place of one of the hero or heroine... or even something hidden inside me, but triggered by the story lines


Today I will talk about the GIFTED and the CURSED


Today I find myself in PANDORA "The gifted by all gods" "The cursed by all humans"


Pandora who was made to punish human race for using the gift of FIRE - given to them by Prometheus the TITAN... opposing the will of the gods to keep fire a godly matter, up in the Olympus

Forged by Vulcan, the god of fire... gifted by Aphrodite, Hermes, and Zeus himself... so she became a master peace of all what a woman can be, and all what a man can ever dream of

Beautiful... with a face and body made of moonlight, capture the eyes, and lock he desires to be hers only

Eloquent... with a tongue that spell whoever listen or read her words... her magical words

Curious... seek to know, and reveal the misty clouds that covers the unknown even if it mean her doom - she opened the box where all evil reside... le it go and curse the world of humans, and nothing remain but hope

do i see a similarity here??? GOD... has gifted me as they say... with innocent beauty, expressive tongue, smart analytical mind, and unsatisfied curiosity ... but these gifts became a curse and caused me lots of problems, from which i slip with miracles

as Pandora... nothing left for ME but HOPE... hope things will be better, hope people will open up a little... hope for me to open my eyes on my gifts and exploit them for the good ... hope to believe that i am no freak... and i am just as normal as others


My Strange IDEA for today

I am Legend ... :(


April 19, 2008

why not?



why not living in dreams... in a world of my own creation

where all my wishes for a true love... and a home... come true

where all the wishes of security... comfort... and containment come true

where all the demons, shadows, ghosts vanish

so why not living in dreams ? if there is no other better choice??

i live only in dreams...

and in reality... i am a dead soul


My Strange Idea for Today:

Writing is a Bless

March 30, 2008

Life is ...



Life is like an Intercourse :)


Sometimes it is soft and joyful !!


Sometimes it is rough and awarding !!!


but most of the time ...... it is a TOTAL RAPE :(

My Strange Idea for today


Enough ... Pls

March 24, 2008

Shower Thoughts



Last night I went to shower with a strange mood… blank mind, yet full of flashing ideas… don’t ask me how… it is exactly how I felt… I cannot express it any better or any less

Unlike my usual shower attitude, I laid down in the bathtub… let hot delicious water pour over me… enjoy the sweet feeling of relaxation it generates – to both my Body and Soul.

Only then, my flashes start to get clearer… and my shower thoughts pour all over me just like the hot water.

The water is almost under my chin… I lay further… let the water cover my hair and ears… only my nose and eyes are above the surface… starring at the ceiling… and the drops of water hanged there, wishing for a proper burial in my hand made sea.

Listen to my heavy breathing
Listen to the sound of life coming out of me

I wonder! Here and now, in this typical place for committing suicide
What can ever stop me from cutting my veins? I have access to razors, seems very tempting… huh
Or even lay down and breath water… allow the element of life and death to pour inside me … wash me … fill me
Maybe a little electric device … et voila… I am dead

Why death seems a very tempting idea now!
Why can't I end my life as simple as that
Ending life is so easy
Starting life is almost impossible

The idea is devouring me… leaving no space at all… my breathing gets heavier.. I fought to stand and looked around with amazement… strange thoughts are coming to me nowadays

I started to wash my weary body; it feels good when I am clean, smells like sweet heavenly strawberries… I stared to the mirror in front of me… wondering .. It is so easy to clean the dirt outside … but what can ever clean the dirt inside!!!
*******************************************

My strange Idea for Today

My Bathroom is Hunted … with my others' Thoughts!!!!!!!!!

March 21, 2008

It's Mother's Day



The 21st of March… The first day of the beautiful reviving spring… my sister’s birthday… and of course… Mother’s day.

It is a day full of life… a symbol of birth, and fertility


A day when Mother earth give birth to a new face, for the aged world, worn out by winter


A day when flower blossoms start to crawl over tree branches, coloring our busy days…


A day when I smile and secretly wish for a happier time … smelling the scent of life emerging from everything around.


Maybe that is why this day is chosen to celebrate the mother’s day!


Mother’s day… I rather call it … The Day of the Feminine power

Power to give life

To change hard conditions into favorable ones

To contain the whole world with all its complications in between our tiny hands

To guide the human souls with ideas, and secretly hidden intelligence

To fight for the best of our beloved

To sacrifice ceaselessly with all what we own... even ourselves


Mother’s day, is every woman’s day… for being a mother is a built in feature, god planted its seed… and let it grow into a great sacred tree


A tree that feed, shade, spill wisdom, and give pleasure


I dedicate today’s greetings to:

Every mother on earth or up in heaven – May god bless their tender souls


Every Girl/Woman:

who takes care of her parents

who take cares of her brothers and sisters

who shares to put a smile on the face of poor and orphans

who contains and love her man (bf, husband ..)

who feeds an animal and show mercy to all god’s creatures

who cherish friendship and is always around to spread cheers, and contain tears and fears


Every Girl/Woman who knows the true meaning of being a woman… of being the bearer of the feminine power… and realizes the gift that changed the face of the world.


All men who curse women… who are too arrogant, and afraid to admit our sacred power … remember that Adam asked God for Eve - *wink


So happy Mother’s day my fellow females … May god bless our feminine powers inside.


My strange Idea for today

We are all mothers

March 02, 2008

What Do I Know About Sadness!!?



Sadness is a grave ... I dug with my own hands

Lay there helpless ... lay there senseless


Sadness is the feeling when silence fill my eyes... ears... mouth...

while i stand watching my own self fading and unable to do anything about it


Sadness is the blood that flows out of my veins

Paint the world with my colors

and leave me gray


Sadness is the unknown path in mysterious lands

Dark trees ... filled with tortured souls

Precarious ground that swallows my steps

No sound

No one around

Just a thin cloud of foggy feelings


Sadness is the unanswered questions

Flying in the crystalline space

Wishing to be reunited with their answers


Sadness is about loss

Sadness is gray

Sadness is facing the truth

Sadness is a pray

Sadness is consuming me

claiming me as a prey


What do i know about sadness


What do YOU know about sadness?!



My strange idea for today:
Sadness is a Disease ... With no CURE

January 29, 2008

Let it Rain...



What's rain!!


Is it the tiny water drops that fall from above… fall to clean and wash the weary face of the world


Is It the pure water of the sky that hold the hand of the being and help it to get into a mysterious status of serenity, calmness, maybe little shades of sadness… sweet sadness


What is rain … truly what is rain

What is rain for you

Is it like it for me


Since I was a kid, and I always loved rain,,, loved to stretch my hand out of the window and feel the cold chilly drops on my warm tiny hands

I tried to taste it

I always thought it is holly water … why not … it comes from above… that makes it holly right?


I see an agreeing smile upon your lips… whispering yeh right J


Tell you something

I love so much the drip drip voice… and the weshhh weshhh voice… I love the fresh smell it gives to the world… and I love the song it sings with trees and blossoms … I love to walk in the rain and feel the holly water washing my face… washing away my pain.. washing away the stiffness that diseased my life


These were thoughts of years ago… but now I have a more mature perception of rain.. more mature definition… more realistic


Rain is

The tear drops of angels and fairies who live in the high clouds... they gather themselves from now and then in a hall made of crystal water over the high cloudy hills… decorated with scented flowers … the sacred frangipani…sit all together in a wide circle and cry

Cry for us

For our misery

For our loneliness

And our alienation

Cry and call our names to purify ourselves

To let go our sadness with their sadness

It cannot be more real than that … can it be!!

Let it rain … let it rain

Wash my pain

Don’t drop in vain

Let it rain let it rain


My strange idea for today:

I believe in fairies

January 07, 2008

Guiltless Devil!!


Shit happens!

Excuse my language, but I couldn’t find a better word to describe how things can deviate from its course.


Why we screw up!!

The Devil’s whispers?


Why we always blame the Devil!

Why not the inner hidden self?


God has warned us from our inner selves and the damages it can do to our lives… the bad it commands… the bad it wishes for us


it is not always the devil

It is us

We are the devils of this earth


My strange idea for today

Inside each one of us … is a devil’s soul

December 05, 2007

Why They Call it Suicide?!

Suicide… the act of killing one self… the brave decision to end one’s life… the final destination… the fading light of hope and rise of desperation sun.

Why it is wrong?

And why they call it a crime?


(1) Passing over the bridge… watching the flowing grayish water… its internal waves indicate the silent anger from this world, and the thirst for human souls… whispers coming from deep inside the river… faintly calling my name… I exerted all the efforts to fight the urge of giving myself totally to this delicate element of life… to be swallowed by the huge mass of water… and never come up again… to see a new world, and listen to new songs… songs of life after Death


Will they call it suicide?

Why they don’t call it… hiding!!


(2) Looking at the shiny blade… its silvery surface shows only half of my face… why only half of my face? Why always that half… my eyes are engraved on the hungry blade… which crave for the taste of my blood… I try to look away … but my eyes are glued to its rising soul… it wants me… what if I cut my flesh… the white moony flesh… and watch the line of blood flow freely away from my poisoned body… drawing life wherever it goes… and spread my existence in the endless being


Will they call it suicide?

Why they don’t call it… painting my freedom!!


(3) It is more than just a building... it is the top of the world where I stand… … watching the real life beneath my feet…mortals walk endlessly in one path… they never look at the beautiful blue sky… they never thought of the wind kissing their perishing bodies… the clouds are drawing the lines of angels… they whisper my name… they are inviting me to join them… fight the urge to throw myself… feel the wind… listen to heaven songs… and breath.


Will they call it suicide?

Why they don’t call it… flying away!!


(4) White tiny pills… lay peacefully on the table… what’s their taste? sweet or sour… does it matter… life is sour… my name is written on each of them… they are mine… they belong to me… flow inside my body… merge with my blood… take me to the world of dreams… endless dream… endless joy.


Why they call it suicide

Why they don’t call it… Sleeeep!! Shhhhhh


(5) Why they call it suicide?

Why they call it death… End of Life?

Why they don’t call it another chapter in one’s journey!

Freedom from life burdens!

Merging with life elements!


My strange idea for today:

Death is not the end … it is just the beginning

November 29, 2007

The Original Sin



Many has interpreted the Meaning of the Original Sin… as it was mainly related to eve’s response to the devil’s seduction, and reach for the forbidden fruit… thus opposing god’s will


But I have a different opinion… when I read the story of Adam and Eve, I found out that going for the forbidden fruit is not the sin itself… but it is the outcome of the sin


The real sin is that eve TRUSTED the cursed angel, which turned to be the curse of all human race


Look around before objecting… you will find that all major events in your life, others’ lives, and even in history has been affected in a way or another by TRUST… and mainly end negatively


My Strange Idea for today

TRUST is the original SIN… and we are all SINNERS

November 07, 2007

What do i Know About Success


I always thought that I know enough about success; that I have tasted its sweetness, and felt the pride it generates flowing through my veins, that gives an unusual feeling of ecstasy and amazement for the ability to overcome any obstacle no matter what it is
... I thought I know about this magical word that we chase in the desert of life… and vanquish our thirst for accomplishment…


I thought… yes I thought… Until last Sunday!!!


Dear Readers and fellow bloggers

That glorious Sunday was my graduation day, in which I have been granted my MASTERS DEGREE WITH MERIT, finally after three long years of hard working nights, and long waiting days.


You will never imagine my happiness and pride in that day… and I realized that the feeling of success I use to have is not the real thing, it was a shadow, a tasteless clone, a fake copy … but the true thing was felt that Sunday at my graduation ceremony followed by the wonderfully organized reception …


That day, showed me different aspects of success… aspects that shine like a twinkling star in a dark sky… a star that is so far away, which cannot be reached but with a dream ship, equipped with will, and stubbornness to carry on... I realized that success is just like walking through the gates of heaven, you had to suffer for a long time, till you are worthy to enter, and enjoy its blesses, and festive as heroes


They say “no pain … no gain” those few words don’t just explains how to achieve success, but carry wisdom for those who can read between lines… pain, the feeling we try to run from and avoid during the course of our lives, the feeling that strike us with no pre-notice, is the same that we practice, in order to gain


I dunno why I remember now the last scene in the movie morgan ahmed morgan… when he was chosen to say the graduates’ speech… he said that now by education he owns the world

That day, I felt I owned the world... I stepped into heaven... I reached a star and put it in a necklace around my neck


Success for me is not just about the master’s degree, it carries for me a deeper meaning, it is about:

My will and strength to carry on

Believe in myself and my ability to do anything

Believe in NIKE motto “Just Do It

Accomplish great things

To Inspire and being inspired

Give a helping hand to myself and others

Deny the myth that we have limitations in doing things

Make others proud

Reaching a milestone that will change my life

Generate feelings of strength and happiness


It is all about success… real feeling of success… the success that we know we have earned it, and not just another word in our record


Congratulate me o! Dear ones. For today… I own the world… today… I am successful


*** *** *** *** *** ***


Celebrity for a day

That great day, I was a celebrity, everybody is looking and smiling to the graduates, wave hi to them, take pictures for them, and wanna take pictures with them … standing to take the group photos while ten photographers are taking pictures for us… it was a marvelous feeling


The best part was when the families met their sons and daughters after the ceremony with tears, and smiles, and beautiful flowers… while the eyes are twinkling with one word : “you make us proud


Yes I made them proud

And I changed my life with my own hands

*** *** *** *** *** ***

And that is what I know about success :)

November 01, 2007

The Road to Femininity


The sparkles of magic within… the hidden massive power that rules the world… the endless source of pure light and delicious warmth… the brush that paints the faces of life with vivid astonishing colors… femininity, god’s grace to women

I am proud to be a woman… and I thank mighty God every day for the blessing of belonging to this beautiful race that bears life, and endless secrets within


Through my course of life, I saw many women who appreciate being women, and embrace their feminine power and tamed it for their good… while others curse it, deny it, and turn into deformed creatures that are neither feminine nor masculine, as they lose themselves and their identity; satisfied with existing for certain purposes – keeping human race - do nothing with pleasure, feel nothing with their hearts, know nothing of their inner self.


Culture, is it?

The way they have been raised, is it?

Or the savage life conditions they are going through?

Blame men is the solution!!


It is true that women are living under hostile conditions, their rights are denied, they are treated as properties to own, they have been raised with a natural feeling of guilt, and all what make them a woman is buried under thick layers of tribal code… but…we shouldn’t just put our heads in the sand and forget that a major part of the problem comes from within.


I see women walking in the street, with dark faces, and eyes that lost the beautiful sparkle of the moon, tend to turn themselves into ugly creatures, which make me ask …


Are they real women… what do they know about being a woman… what do they know about the difference between masculinity and femininity?? is it just a genital, and hormonal difference? How they perceive the term “Femininity”!!


Why being a wife, mother, practical woman, spinster, divorced, widow, feminist, intellectual has a negative impact on women femininity?


Alas, and I hate to admit it, the majority of today’s women know nothing about femininity, about the power they carry inside their souls and hearts… they believe that mimicking men in some of their attitude will bring them respect… they think that by reaching certain physical, mental, intellectual status means to give up being a woman… and pathetically turn to be anti-femininity creatures!! They have succeeded To lose the power within, to deny their nature and secret magic… and finally fill the streets, houses, offices with shadows of who were once women dwell


Let’s face it

- A girl is so beautiful and smooth till she got married, then turn to be a maid in her own house, know nothing but kitchen and kids,

- Some marry for just being able to be mothers, and I swear to god I heard it from many friends, after they give birth and I ask about their husbands, the answer is … he did his role

- Carrier turn women to be savage in behavior, as a mean to protect themselves and enforce respect in a environment where men generally rule… elegant, beautiful, but play with great success the role of femme fatal

- Some who has no luck in marriage don’t bother about the way they look, they act with vulgarity, and turn to crows … with all the meanings of the word

- Even one of the noblest roles for women – feminist - has turned them to be anti-men, they might be elegant and beautiful, but lost the touch of tenderness in their voices and way of acting with others

- Intellectual girls are known to wear glasses, and lose interest with god’s grace… their bodies


Women… themselves… and no other… have deformed the meaning of femininity… surrender to the dark waves of life that pull them away from their magical territory… all the above are examples of wrong practices from women themselves… they deliberately lose their powers, they intentionally bury their magic, they kill the beauty within… they kill themselves slowly, not knowing that femininity is the easiest path to reach a good life


But… what is femininity? What are the signs of femininity? how to find road to such great power?


That is what I will tell in coming posts… stay around

October 08, 2007

The Model of Innocence



Pure look

Milky face

Young face

Glowing skin like twinkling stars

Beautiful smile

Innocent deep eyes

Cherry lips

Draw a perfect model for innocence


Theoretically the way a person look may truly reflect who he/she really is… but beware... dont take it as a solemn fact... we need to look deeper and closer to know the hidden truth within… or we would be faced by another face screaming “I am not that innocent”

October 03, 2007

The Life Story


Our lives is woven with words that make one long story

The story is made of many many flowing chapters

Every chapter has a beginning and an ending

Through those chapters, our days flow… our fate is sealed… our future is drawn


Some chapters may glow with love and beauty… spread all the good feelings to bless the other chapters, and even affect the next chapters to be better, to be written with butterfly wing, and flower juice… carries the song of heaven, and the sweet taste of happiness.


Alas such chapters are short… never last… and the impact never sustain time


Some other chapters are seen as mistakes, where you can smell smoke and fire… taste blood… listen to cries and sounds of battles… such chapters pour darkness around and ruin any attempt for survival


Alas such chapters are long long longer than time… always last till the last breath… you can find its traces on all the coming pages… yes it may fade away, but it will always be there


Some chapters are just a separator between two chapters, draw an end, and open arms for a beginning


I have lived a story, a dark painful story, that spill its darkness over the pages of my book… ruin any attempt for good… my story back to me... and thing end up by emphasizing on one fact: My Happiness Never Last… and pain will always come from any corner to ruin it


That is my strange idea for the day

Which chapter you have lived and impacted your life until the day of reading those lines.


“Anyone would run away from your story”

words that pierced my heart, and after them I will never be the same.