And who doesn't want to be someone else
Different life, Different destiny, Different self
Will I be happier? Will it be easier? will my dreams come true? will all the pain that I am going through disappear?
I need to heal, to stand again, to recognize my blessings, and leave all of this darkness and burning pain behind
Arms of my demons pulling me deeper
I will fight
I will try to fight
I cant fight
I need to heal, I need to be free from my own darkness, from self pity, from looking back
burning fire of anger is licking my existence, sucking reason out of me
I will defend my being
I will try
I cant
I need to heal, I need my weapons
my weapons... my book... my papers... my magical words, and magical worlds... they are my salvation
facing the tempest... facing the demons... Extinguish the fire
and my strange idea for today is
I will be someone else, and I will create my somewhere else
13 comments:
who doesn't want to be somewhere else
And who doesn't want to be someone else
Different life, Different destiny, Different self
Will I be happier? Will it be easier? will my dreams come true? will all the pain that I am going through disappear?
Dear Egyptiana, have been there done that, it does not work, Just be yourself and try to accept who you are,
believe it or not being what you are with all the packages that you are accustomed to is much better than being someone else with different packages,
believe me you will be shocked and surprised,
stay with what you are I think you are fine:)
I will be waiting for the more eloquent fellow anonymous input.
Cheers..
Note:
when I noted (more eloquent fellow anonymous) was meant to be more eloquent than me:)
Dear Anonymous who calls me Egyptiana
it is what others has done to me, what makes me want to flee
at some point of my life I was unbalanced and unable to accept myself... but with time and age, wisdom told me that i am what i am, and i am what i am meant to be, and it is a blessing by itself despite the fact that some traits are too much to handle and cause me problems, but as you said it is a package
it is what others have done to me, the hurt and injustice, wounding me deeper than they think... no one ever played fair with me... always hurt, and abused under lots of pretty names
my heart is weary, and my mind is tired... sinking into the endless hole of anger and despair... and even the things i love the most cant give me relief anymore... i am trying to push myself forward but it is so hard and so difficult to move an inch without falling in muddy anger and pain... anger and pain... and more anger and pain
that's why my friend i sometimes say how it will be if i am someone else in somewhere else
Hello Egyptiana
I can identify with your prose and totally understand it, as my witty and talented fellow anonymous wrote we all have been there one way or another that's merely the human nature because human beings are complicated - not in the sick manner- its simply how ALMIGHTY GOD created us we; covet, bore, cherish, deny in all aspects of life!
As some point in life a dream job might be the sough after goal that will present you with several benefits; well paid salary, good connections, exposure and a high self esteem yet after several years your discover a drawback Oppsie daises it lacks to fulfill your passion flashforward you start looking around and beholding others who opted a different route may be took risk to pursue their passion or you seek to settle down make a family and after several years you ache for lost freedom trust me dear friend when I tell you this each route, pathway, journey whatever you prefer to name it has its own baggage! Sure each one of us has own destiny to follow but part of God's mercy drawing a convenient path for each one of us that doesn't mean we don't follow our dreams sure we do but it always come with a price, always.
P.S. My dear fellow anonymous you always overwhelm with your kind and warm words as a matter of fact I'm merely testing the water all the way long :)
Dear Anonymous who was supposed to call me EG but didnt :)
"after several years you ache for lost freedom trust me dear friend when I tell you this each route, pathway, journey whatever you prefer to name it has its own baggage! "
that's why the question will always be, will I be happier? will I be more peaceful? will this be what I wanted?
there is always a question no matter what route we take... to tell the truth I don't regret my path... I just regret how I managed it... I should have moved on when I idled... and sometimes I should have stopped when I decided to go further without reconsideration... the time lost and the different ways things could have been
it is complicated and a very dangerous hole to fall in... and at this point, I have no more time to waste in self assessment... it is time to act and be... I cant bring back time, but I can try to use well what I have left
I always call you Egyptiana :) the other Anonymous calls you EG or may be a third anonymous decided to join our cozy space :))
Totally get you and that's the way never look back and look forward to the future...
Remember two important words "Carpe Diem" seize the day!
Dear Anonymous there is no third anonymous but it seems that you have been a great influence so I used Egyptiana instead of EG, I will go back to EG:)
Furthermore, even if I did not use EG to address MS. Egyptiana no one will mistake me for the anonymous with the great skill and poetic writing..
cheers
My fellow anonymous Esquire the influence is mutual as it works both ways ;) I reckon a sharp and witty mind like yourself can easily spot it in my words.
On the contrary mate your writing is distinctive and thoughtful which is a true indication that the person who wrote them is indeed kind hearted and humble two rare adjectives in such hard times!
Fellow anonymous Countess, I'm truly humbled by your warm remarks:)
Pardon me I meant count but auto fill does wild things:)
I'm confused:)
No worries mate happens to all of us! I guess you will choose "PORTHOS" as your alter ego;) you should check Egyptiana latest post to get my hint :)
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