Healing Alone

 

Broken soul… broken heart

One piece after the other consumed by the dark sadness

One piece after the other burned by the flames of anger

Oh I was a fool

A ridiculous fool 

I believed and I gave my all 

And now I am standing all alone 

Facing all of this alone

Trying to heal alone 

Always alone 

My wounds never heal

surrounded by darkness... no ray of light

pain eating my heart

I am falling... falling in endless despair

I need to breath... I need to see the sun... I wish to be ok for once in my life... I am tired... and sad... I am consumed... and angry... I must get out of all this... 

falling... falling deep... falling... hit hard... 

stuck in my head... it is crowded in there... those thoughts chain me... demons... cant break free 

Facing all this

healing alone

but my wounds never heal 

my wounds never heal

My strange idea of the day

none

The Story Teller

Lately I am realising a very disturbing fact.

I don't know how to write!!

For sometimes now I have been trying to put some ideas together

Envision a story.. a plot.. a character.. a places!!

But nothing is materializing in my brain.. just scattered ideas that doesnt hold on together and make something coherent.

I am a storyteller, or that's what i used to be... but for years this skill has been diminishing due to my attempt to run and hide from some aspects of my reality... i run to the colorful world of the games and social media... where i shut down my brain and receive only... do whatever needed mechanically... 

My soul is dry

and i don't know how to revive it

My imagination is depleted

and i don't know how to replenish it

the storyteller has no stories to tell

I thought of prompts... I thought of writing competitions... I thought of just writing the flashes that hit my mind from time to time

 But the problem is, I only think and think only... I dont move things to the next phase... ACTION

I am tired... emotionally, physically, mentally exhausted 

sometimes I tell myself, writing is your safe haven... where you can be somewhere else... where you will be someone else... just let it flow and you will not regret it

just let it heal you

just let it strengthen you as it always did

write a story, any story... a silly story... a sad story... a love story... a crazy story... just write a story... one little story... it will be the key to the rusty gates of your mind

I am very good at writing feelings.. very deep feelings... feelings that one can whisper to oneself.. how about character, place, plot line?

"It is a beautiful day outside, sunny with a little chill... delicious silence engulfing the space, melodies flowing around, make the heart aches with ecstasy... there... sitting... thinking... writing... dreaming... what is going to happen today? does it matter?, does it really matter?... just indulge in the moment... steal the rare beautiful moment from the ugly face of life"

Just feelings... no character, no place, no plot

My Strange Idea for the Day

I am a Storyteller without Stories