November 07, 2010

Art of Relaxation: my Receipe to Get out of the Blues

How 15 consecutive days of hard times and problems will leave me?!?!?!

Completely not myself

Soaked with negative energy

Anger was flowing in my veins
Poisoning my blood
Polluting my brain cells

I was breathing the dust of loss and sorrow

That day ... I woke up with a grey feeling ..
With a need to push away the dark clouds shadowing my mind.. purif my inner self .. and relax
and an urge to merge with nature with a touch of ancient rituals

I sat in my living room... switched off the light .. closed my lovely floral curtains and sat on the relaxing couch

all what i needed is a shade of light ... coloring my walls

silently i started to prepare my spiritual relaxing ambiance... beginning with:

Floral scented candles .. spreading the smell of ancient gardens .. fill the small space with pure white light .. hunting down the negative spirits that invaded my mind and soul... creating a protective aura ... surrounding my mortal being

Then put a candle in the semi transparent Salt Lamp ... breathing as if it was alive .. erupting with showers of negative ions in the space of my room ..neutralizing the surrounding air... sending a warm feeling to my body and soul .. rejuvenating my brain cells

Lilac Incense in the center.. the ascending smoke twirls in front of my eyes .. drawing scenes of magical worlds .. war .. love .. monsters hunted by knights .. and in the corner shows a pinkish cloud .. with a crystal palace.. in which i lived for long nights and days

Spiritual Relaxing Music in the background... nurturing my weary soul... inspiring me... wash my inside with soft waves of melodies... one wave after the other... pulling the poisonous reality away from me.. into deep dark seas of endless magical stories

and to complete the feeling of ecstasy.. i fixed myself a cup of Raspberry flavored Tea.. in my special china.. slowly sipping one rich portion after the other.. feeling the hot sacred liquid vanquishing the thirst of my dry spirit

I was reaching a spiritual climax

Filling my senses .. one after the other..

Visioning magical worlds
Hearing music from heaven
Smelling ancient wisdom
Tasting peace and balance
Feeling relaxed and numb

I felt as if i am in a beautiful forest ... bathing in sunlight ... flying inside a clear stream ... filled with songs of angels and sacred sparrows

I felt as if i am laying on the morning dewed grass .. watching cottony clouds racing aimlessly.. and laughers of nymphs rising from no where

I felt a volcano of love erupting inside me... and a need to fall in my husbands arms ... kissing his soft lips lovingly ... closing my eyes .. hearing his heart beats that increasingly call my name

I was gaining myself back ... my true me .. and from that day on .. i decided to write again

It now became a habit ... every free morning .. I create my little world .. and Dream

My Strange Idea for Today
I am a Goddess

November 05, 2010

Digital ID and The Kind Hacker

I believe in the digital world

I believe that a part of us is living in this world .. in homes made of binary codes and scripts ... walking in complicated networked streets ... feed on the endless data flows of the internet

I believe that each one of us has a Digital ID... including our mails.. social networks accounts.. blogs.. subscriptions.. ect

how does it feel to loose all of that in ONLY two days ??!!

I lived a nightmare ... starting from Monday Nov. 1st

my mails started to fall ... one after the other... my facebook accounts... and finally the most disasterous of all ... my google account ... containing my blogs ... my gmail ...and my docs

I lost all of that ... I lost digital me ... my digital home ... my digital family ... my digital friends ... my digital memories ... my words ... my feelings

I felt lost .. empty .. strange

as if I am swiming in a vast ocean of zeros and ones without a shore
as if I am walking in a big city of data and information .. homeless
as if I am alienated .. banished .. exiled .. nameless

i had a trauma for the days after .. was afraid of touching a computer

Praying for a savior .. a super hero .. a man who fears no system or DB .. a man who can conquer the wild hidden lands of the digital world

sitting in my bed ... eyes sealed to the ceiling ..


it was blinded with the shining armor of the hero .. the knight .. the savior .. my Husband

in despite of the fact that he is a doctor .. but he has been into computers and networks since its dark ages

he drew his laptop .. gathered all his digital forces .. jumped in the dark alleys of the internet .. to get me back my digital identity .. to wash away the tears of his princess ... and draw a smile over her face again

two days of continuous work .. and progress was 60% ... gaining authority again over my google account, a facebook account, and an e-mail


Thursday night ..

routinely cheeking my gmail .. a message in the form of a comment ...


apologizing .. giving a key word to gain back the remaining of the mails and facebooks ... claimig it was a mistake .. promising it was not misused

it cant be by mistake or coincidence that all my blogs .. facebooks .. e-mails has been hacked


I have no clue about this persons purposes .. drivers .. reasons
all what i know is that i lived a bad week .. with minimum hope to gain my digital self back


a strange mix between anger and happiness

after all: with 0% loss ... am 100% lucky winner

but i believe in signs .. no coincidence .. no luck in here .. there are lessons to be learned .. and messages between the lines:

- to better use my digital existence ...
- to take care of digital security matters
- to write again
- never use personal accounts but through my own secured computer

For 10 Years of my digital life... i have never gone through such a situation ... here i am ...learned the hard way

Be Grateful ... Never take anything lightly ... for granted

even if it was a Digital Identity

My Strange Idea for Today
I am ... 01101110 01100001 01101110

November 01, 2010

The Magic of Being Two

Do you know about Yin and Yang

Its forces .. Its nature .. Its spiritual symbolic meaning

Yin and Yang has always been my favorit symbole... i even put it in front of me at my office
Yin and Yang has been the symbole of perfection out of contradiction
Yin and Yang is the magic of integrating two different forces to make a whole complete circle - the most perfect shape that has been ever created
Yin and Yang is the symbole that reflects the current story of my life

I Got Married

I have broken the circle of sadness and fear
I united my soul with another soul
I am experiencing the true meaning of Yin and Yang
Two different characters
Two unlike pieces of puzzles
Two diverse souls

Met .. Repulsed .. Attracted .. Fell .. United

I am Yin .. He is Yang

I am darkness .. He is light
I am the moon .. He is the sun
I am the shade that shelters him .. He is the brightness that shows me the way
I am the arms in which he rests .. He is the arms that turn the wheel of life
I am earth, the mother, the seed bearer .. He is Heaven, the Father, the seed giver
I am matter .. He is energy
I am water .. He is fire
I am the body .. He is the head
I am the interior .. He is the exterior
I conserve our relations .. He transforms our relation from one level to the other

I am Love .. He is life
I am Yin .. His Yang

I Got Married

living the aspects of Yin and Yang relationship, with all its magic

* Yin and Yang are Opposit: body .. soul .. mind ..
I am short .. He is tall
He is tanned .. I am white
I am spiritual .. He is scinetific
He is futuristic .. I am old fashioned
My mind runs behind the secrets of the universe .. His mind is robotic and computerized
He is a leaders .. I am a Priestess

*Yin and Yang are inter-independant: cannot exist without each other
waking up in the morning with a smile i am his and he is mine
my existence in this life depend on his existence in mine
It is not about the bond of mariage .. it is about the integration
Life is him .. Life is me .. Life is US .. and our future to be

*Mutual Consumption of Yin and Yang
Giving .. consuming feelings .. demanding love .. mutual sharing .. the union .. the us
I devour his feelings .. He feeds on mine
our minds .. our brain cells work on the same wave length .. filling our minds with knowledge
our souls .. fly over clouds of pure feelings .. over the fresh breezes of sensuality
our bodies .. our cells are calling each other .. integrate .. unite .. as if they were made from the same matter

*Inter Transpformation of Yin and Yang: one can change into the other, it is not random event, it happens only when the time is right
I am his female version.. I am acquiring his characters .. he is acquiring mine .. we are disolving in each other to the extent of being one .. to the extent of being same .. to the extent of speaking same words, doing same acts, at the same time , to the extent of when we look in each others faces we see each other faces

Yin an Yang has been always my favorit symbol ...
but now it is not just a symbol...

It is a way of life...

My strange Idea for Today

I am Two