Welcoming Spring

I always had a certain weakness towards Spring

Its the revival season .. in which the earth go young again .. and all creatures celebrates with a fertility rituals

Mating

Dancing

Joying

Singing

Blooming

I decided to celebrate myself .. bought a BASIL plant ..

Generally ... to add some green to my life

Symbolically .. to revive my weary self .. and help me to face the sun again

Spiritually .. it is a Holy Basil worshiped by the hindu .. it represents represents purity, serenity, harmony, luck, happiness and good health.

Promise to my plant ... i will love and cherish you always

My Strange Idea for Today

I MUST find spiritual symbols in everything

I Transform

"Nature is in a constant state of transformation" - sophie's world (p33)

so do we !!

so do everything .. and everyone around

I changed .. a great part of me

some qualities were lost forever in the endless darkness of the oceans

some qualities were acquired .. but not all are angelic ..

and some were haunted for .. adaptation is a necessity

Everyday i look in the mirror to find a change .. slight .. but exist

a hair is whitening

a wrinkle is crawling on the side of myface

a sight of confidence is increasing

a heart beat of fear is Sneaking to the usual rythm of my heart

I TRANSFORM

Even my dreams ... my thoughts ... the way i look to things

depressing?

sometimes .. i miss me .. the ignorant young girl who is still taking her first steps in life

sometimes .. i hate me .. the clumsy who hardly listens to anybody ... want only to do what she wanna ... without rational thoughts about the consequences

I TRANSFORM

even my words ... my interests ... even the way i embrass things

encouraging??

sometimes .. i love the change .. i love what i gained .. the high level of tolerence .. the rationality of thinking .. the wisdom

sometimes .. i hate it .. for i cant enjoy the crazy pleasures of life

TRANSFORMATION

is what we are going through

physically .. mentally .. spiritually

but if there is only one fact in this change .. i fear more of tomorrow .. the dragon heart that use to beat once inside me .. is soften ..

heart ache i feel

My Strange Idea for Today

we dont use well our time .. we only keep spilling it

WHO ARE YOU ?!

I spent all my life trying to answer this question .. trying to identify my identity .. my true identity that's full of conflicts .. of possible normal things .. of impossible freaky things .. of ME .. Real ME .. TRUE ME

Am not the one who goes to work at 8 am and spend long boring hours till 4 pm

Am not the one who stands in the street with a blank mind waiting for transportation

Am not the one who spends her time wondering on facebook from one game to the other to kill time and spell its pure blood on the floors of history

Am not the one who cannot concentrates while reading something mysterious without embrassing it and feel its mystical power flow inside my veins .. triggering my mind

Am not the one with no dreams .. no thoughts .. no imagination

I am other

Finding my true self took me ages of wander .. thru worlds beyound ordinary minds

Finding my identity ... is freedom

I am WATER ... that contains all human bodies and wash away their pain and anger .. release their fake self and turn them back to who they really are

I am WIND ... that travels between worlds we dont even know they exist .. absorbing knowledge and spread it everywhere

I am EARTH ... whose fertility give birth to a whole world full of wonders

I am FIRE ... that burns with anger all enemies .. yet warm my beloved one .. welcome him .. and embrass him

Am the universe itself .. a wonder in my creation by the ultimate creator

who am i ?

I am that girl who enjoys simple pleasures of life .. like walking bare foot on the green dewed grass .. and the smell of the fresh waves bringing me news from afar

I am that witch who can enchant living creatures with spells made of spices.. milk .. and honey

I am that warrior who defend her beloved ones with her soul .. and sword

I am a woman .. the bringer of life .. and the giver of love

I am a woman .. the mysterious .. the soft .. the beautiful .. the wild

I am a woman .. the armor from fears .. the chaser of pain

This is me

The absolute fact .. a woman who is living and giving and iteracting with the universe and embrace its secrets

and You !!!

My Strange Idea of Today

Do you really Know Who You Are?!!

My Life in Pink

NEW Life

NEW Phase

NEW Me

Welcoming my NEW BLOG

My Life in Pink

قراءات من زمن فات: بجماليون توفيق الحكيم

قراءة فى بجماليون توفيق الحكيم على بلوجايتى الفيسبوكبه

http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=114503965276955&topic=50

Art of Relaxation: my Receipe to Get out of the Blues

How 15 consecutive days of hard times and problems will leave me?!?!?!

Completely not myself

Soaked with negative energy

Anger was flowing in my veins

Poisoning my blood
Polluting my brain cells

I was breathing the dust of loss and sorrow

That day ... I woke up with a grey feeling ..

With a need to push away the dark clouds shadowing my mind.. purif my inner self .. and relax

and an urge to merge with nature with a touch of ancient rituals

I sat in my living room... switched off the light .. closed my lovely floral curtains and sat on the relaxing couch

all what i needed is a shade of light ... coloring my walls

silently i started to prepare my spiritual relaxing ambiance... beginning with:

Floral scented candles .. spreading the smell of ancient gardens .. fill the small space with pure white light .. hunting down the negative spirits that invaded my mind and soul... creating a protective aura ... surrounding my mortal being

Then put a candle in the semi transparent Salt Lamp ... breathing as if it was alive .. erupting with showers of negative ions in the space of my room ..neutralizing the surrounding air... sending a warm feeling to my body and soul .. rejuvenating my brain cells

Lilac Incense in the center.. the ascending smoke twirls in front of my eyes .. drawing scenes of magical worlds .. war .. love .. monsters hunted by knights .. and in the corner shows a pinkish cloud .. with a crystal palace.. in which i lived for long nights and days

Spiritual Relaxing Music in the background... nurturing my weary soul... inspiring me... wash my inside with soft waves of melodies... one wave after the other... pulling the poisonous reality away from me.. into deep dark seas of endless magical stories

and to complete the feeling of ecstasy.. i fixed myself a cup of Raspberry flavored Tea.. in my special china.. slowly sipping one rich portion after the other.. feeling the hot sacred liquid vanquishing the thirst of my dry spirit

I was reaching a spiritual climax

Filling my senses .. one after the other..

Visioning magical worlds

Hearing music from heaven

Smelling ancient wisdom

Tasting peace and balance

Feeling relaxed and numb

I felt as if i am in a beautiful forest ... bathing in sunlight ... flying inside a clear stream ... filled with songs of angels and sacred sparrows

I felt as if i am laying on the morning dewed grass .. watching cottony clouds racing aimlessly.. and laughers of nymphs rising from no where

I felt a volcano of love erupting inside me... and a need to fall in my husbands arms ... kissing his soft lips lovingly ... closing my eyes .. hearing his heart beats that increasingly call my name

I was gaining myself back ... my true me .. and from that day on .. i decided to write again

It now became a habit ... every free morning .. I create my little world .. and Dream

My Strange Idea for Today

I am a Goddess

Digital ID and The Kind Hacker

I believe in the digital world

I believe that a part of us is living in this world .. in homes made of binary codes and scripts ... walking in complicated networked streets ... feed on the endless data flows of the internet

I believe that each one of us has a Digital ID... including our mails.. social networks accounts.. blogs.. subscriptions.. ect

how does it feel to loose all of that in ONLY two days ??!!

I lived a nightmare ... starting from Monday Nov. 1st

my mails started to fall ... one after the other... my facebook accounts... and finally the most disasterous of all ... my google account ... containing my blogs ... my gmail ...and my docs

I lost all of that ... I lost digital me ... my digital home ... my digital family ... my digital friends ... my digital memories ... my words ... my feelings

I felt lost .. empty .. strange

as if I am swiming in a vast ocean of zeros and ones without a shore

as if I am walking in a big city of data and information .. homeless

as if I am alienated .. banished .. exiled .. nameless

i had a trauma for the days after .. was afraid of touching a computer

Praying for a savior .. a super hero .. a man who fears no system or DB .. a man who can conquer the wild hidden lands of the digital world

sitting in my bed ... eyes sealed to the ceiling ..

UNTIL

it was blinded with the shining armor of the hero .. the knight .. the savior .. my Husband

in despite of the fact that he is a doctor .. but he has been into computers and networks since its dark ages

he drew his laptop .. gathered all his digital forces .. jumped in the dark alleys of the internet .. to get me back my digital identity .. to wash away the tears of his princess ... and draw a smile over her face again

two days of continuous work .. and progress was 60% ... gaining authority again over my google account, a facebook account, and an e-mail

UNTIL

Thursday night ..

routinely cheeking my gmail .. a message in the form of a comment ...

from THE HACKER

apologizing .. giving a key word to gain back the remaining of the mails and facebooks ... claimig it was a mistake .. promising it was not misused

it cant be by mistake or coincidence that all my blogs .. facebooks .. e-mails has been hacked

ME ... SPECIFICALLY

I have no clue about this persons purposes .. drivers .. reasons

all what i know is that i lived a bad week .. with minimum hope to gain my digital self back

AND HOW DO I FEEL NOW

a strange mix between anger and happiness

after all: with 0% loss ... am 100% lucky winner

but i believe in signs .. no coincidence .. no luck in here .. there are lessons to be learned .. and messages between the lines:

- to better use my digital existence ...

- to take care of digital security matters

- to write again

- never use personal accounts but through my own secured computer

For 10 Years of my digital life... i have never gone through such a situation ... here i am ...learned the hard way

Be Grateful ... Never take anything lightly ... for granted

even if it was a Digital Identity

My Strange Idea for Today

I am ... 01101110 01100001 01101110