August 12, 2023

Poison





Woke up that day sick, worn out, unable to put the mask of strength on my face.
Laying there in my bed… clouds obscuring my thoughts… sipping coffee my mom made… and trying to swallow those oversized pills that carry the healing powers of our modern time
Text here and there… phone call here and there… looking at my blog… but my ideas were scattered inside my brain… 

Midday
The bell rang … I didn’t care, I am still in bed
My mother’s voice ringing thru the hall, someone with flowers and a package… he needs your signature
Flowers and a package?
For me?
But how? Why? And from who?
My heart racing with excitement… so do names and faces in my head
I went to the door, and here it was, a big bouquet of beautiful flower and a package waiting for my signature

I signed and checked the card. 
It was him… his warm feelings were flowing beyond the few written words… big smile shining on my face… at this moment i could see his strong serious face… choosing carefully his words and write them down… knowing that i will feel and understand what was beyond them

My phone ringing and it was his voice… his warm assuring voice… wishing me well… and wishing that i would like the gift
The gift… i forgot about that… taken by the beauty of the flowers and the warmth of his words
I opened the gift and it was a bottle of perfume
A plump blackish purple bottle… with one word… Poison

This is a story from a faraway past… and I dunno why I remembered it
But when I did… I realized the hidden meaning behind the choice of this perfume

Poison he called me 
And poison I was for him
Poison that he was and wasn’t afraid of
Part of him was aching to take it… and another was trying to pull him away from its lethal impact

Poison… he called me
Poison… I am 
Poison… am I?

I pulled him beyond the gates of the unknown… of the ordinary… of the real everyday life
I was a ghost… a shadow… a dream
With me… He was experiencing feelings that were new… beautiful and magical
With me… he was discovering another face of himself… a face he didn’t even thought it existed
With me… he indulged in thoughts that are beyond his everyday life, and his solid position in the society
He wanted this world… My world… a world of magic and beautiful fantasy

His attraction was increasing everyday… he was knee deep in this endless ocean of mysteries… and with every passing moment.. the feeling  was rooted more and more inside the desert of his soul… spreading like a mysterious tree… nourishing and shading his weary self

He called me poison… the thought of me was taking over him… pull him away from his life… disturbing the sacred routine and peace

He called me poison … but not all poison kills
Poison is also healing

I was his poison … poison to his everyday ordinary life… and healer of his yearning soul to my unknown world

Poison… he called me
Poison… I am 
Poison… am I?

My not so Strange Idea of the Day
With age comes wisdom… and insight
And now I know what it means to be called .. Poison

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Poison can be a healing power but at what cost, the risk sometimes is too high,
Now I'm Jealous:)

Egyptiana Trapped Soul said...

Jealous?!
Do you wanna be called poison too :D
Anyway, the story has ended a long time ago, he didn’t take the risk,the cost was too high for him, and i understand. He remained by the shore, unable to dive and indulge himself in a different life… and i had to move on … find a life that will lighten my soul and give me the golden pass through the gates of the future

Poison i was … i destroyed and i healed
Poison i am not … i live and watch the days creeping away

Ps: no risk … no gain

Anonymous said...

Hello E.G.,
I hope you will get your golden pass and move on to where the sun rays will shine through your hair and soul.

Anonymous said...

Hello again,
I detect that the story has not ended as of yet I venture to say!
you say he did not take the risk but I detect that you did,
the fact that he remained by the shore is a sign of indecisiveness wouldn't you say?
I truly hope you have moved on, you deserve the best life has to offer.

Egyptiana Trapped Soul said...

Dear Anonymous who calls me EG
It is a story from the very far past, and i have since moved on… life is made of choices, and i was smart enough to realize that i am not his first choice
I moved on though, but i was marveling at the power of years, and how they remove the hazy layers of misunderstanding and oblivion, and just let the one see clearly what this and that meant

For him i was poison, and for myself i was also poison, but that’s another story

Egyptiana Trapped Soul said...

Dear Anonymous who didn’t call me EG,
The story is over, and i understand his reasons … to stay with me would have cost him more than he could lose
But i moved on, and risked to trust and live like any normal person, giving away what made me me, to be like everyone else… thinking that i ll be happy… but the truth is i never felt normal… and i never been fully happy… something inside me was missing, and keep nagging me
Maybe that’s why i am back to my blog, to search for myself, maybe one day i ll find me… maybe

Anonymous said...

EG.
I would like to break the news to you,
about feeling normal and never fully happy?! You are not a lonesome in how you feel maybe you have been through different turn of event with some exclusivity, but believe me most people have and most people feel estranged, but again if you ever find someone who is fully happy take a selfie with them and post it for us:)
stay safe and sound,

Egyptiana Trapped Soul said...

It is good to know that i am not alone in this … misery loves company you know :)