Believe it or Not... I am in Drugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is a shocking fact...

Those who don't know me will never think that I may be in drugs

and those who know me personally, will be definitely shocked ... they saw me, they dealt with me ... we laughed, we ate, we discussed different matters ... and they never noticed that i am an addict... and drugged

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I am addicted
I am out of control
And my drugs are the only thing that keeps me alive

I am addicted
I am loosing connection
And my drugs are the only thing that keeps what remains of me

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i feel as if my mind is surrounded by thick mist... I see no light... I see no darkness... and i hear no sound

i am flowing softly ... carried by wind... kissed by petals... hugged by rivers... and the mist ... oh the beautiful mist... is everywhere... I see nothing... I just feel what the mist wants me to feel...

My drugs are the gate to heaven... or to hell ... it doesn't matter... the mist knows ... the mist know

I tried to hold to the Conscious rock... to those around me... to life... to friends... to family... even to him ... they faintly call my name ... but the mist keep all voices off... the mist contains my fear... and realizes my dreams ... the mist knows... the mist knows...

What do you all want from me!! Leave me with my drugs ... leave me with my mists... go away all of you... I cant stand up... my body is loose ... I want to sleeeeep... the mist knows... yes it knows

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My Strange Idea for Today

I am Addicted to Thinking

I am Drugged with Dreams

Tagged ... My Ipod is Psychic

Ok, i wanna thank insomniac for letting shimaa go out of her shell, and i wanna thank shimaa for doing the same with me ... what i like that this tag is not an ordinary one ... it is so special .. and with few words let you know about yourself ... it plays on the perception .. for Ex: the word goodbye can be painful to some, and cheerful to some ... goodbye my lover, or goodbye hard times ... it depends on the oneself ... so giving it a try was fun .. and i hope those i tagged have the same

thanks girls
you made my day

RULES:
a) Put your iTunes/music player on Shuffle.
b) For each question, press the next button to get you answer.
c) YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!

After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do them themselves.

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
All I Need – Air Supply - [i like to customize things, but believe me, all i need are simple things]

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Muzik – Knoc Turnal [my music, my life, my world, my soul, my dreams]

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Stranger in the Night – Frank Sinatra [i have this bad habit of trusting strangers more than who i know ... maybe cause all my terrible wounds comes from those who i know? never stop being a stranger ... ]

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
You are the one that I Want – Grease [mm i wonder which one... come out of the books' pages!!]

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
You are still the one – Shania Twin [God i hate this... it is so damn true ... and i am ... cursed...when i love, i love ... truly love]

6. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Guru Bramha – Jai Uttal [Yeh, Right :)]

7. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Life of a Stranger – Nadia [They are Strangers to each other, and to Me]

8. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Deadly Avenger – Day one [I Totally AGREE]

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
You took Me out of the Blues – Michael Learn to Rock [True... Sometimes, cause some other times no one ever can get me out]

10. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Love me Tender – Elvis [Please :(]

11. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Lezaman (Have to)– Mohamed Mounir [How did my ipod know about that ... i hate goodbyes, yet, i live with an endless serie of goodbyes]

12. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Murrons Burrial - Brave heart soundtrack [i am buried ... i suffocate... and i cant let go the chains.. i hate my ipod]

13. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Fe youm men el ayam (one day) – Abd El Halim [i dont think so!!! or maybe i dont want to beleive so!!!]

14. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
I Know – Jude [I know is the motto of the aquarians ... but i dont think it fits a wedding, thought i want him to sing it to me]

15. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Je ne Vous Oublie pas (i will not forget you)– Celine Dion [i like that]

16. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Gabaar (Mighty) – Abd El Halim [???????]

17. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Viva Forever - Spice Girls [I am secretly in love with life]

18. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
The Merciful one – Zohar [Some are !!]

19. WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
By Heart - Sylvie Lewis [open your heart and read within the words]

20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOURSELF?
Breathing Soul– Babel Soundtrack [Yeh.. Right :)]

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well, Shimaa tagged two of my favorits, so what remains to me are:
- Arabic ID
- Xero
- Eyad Harfoush

My Strange Idea for Today

I Love My IPOD

The Runaway Bride

Ok .. I admit it… I am a runaway bride!!!

Yesterday I slept early, after taking one hell of a medication to ease my stomach ach… and In the silence and the darkness of my room, and under the effect of the medication… I started to think about myself, and asked a very simple question… why am I still sleeping alone in my bed? Why there is no warmth of a human being by my side telling me that I am not alone!!

The answer was presented in the form of flashes of many faces I knew in my life… faces that carry a cheerful smile… turned into sadness when I got out of their circle and continued my path.

Some of them were really good men… loving… warm… and caring to a great extent… but the problem was about me … me… the runaway bride.

I can think of only one scene now… walking on a long road, dark, foggy, and silent… lights from afar … warm and bright… I long for warmth… for a tap on my shoulders… a man standing at the entrance of a lovely home with a beautiful garden and with open arms… I stay for a while… watch the home from outside… enjoy his company… but when it is time to get inside the house… to have a life… to share my days and bind myself eternally to him … I panic… and run… run with all my strength… run as if a monster following me … run thinking that I left my demons behind… but I find out that they were running right beside me

When I know that any of them got married and had a life, I smile… I could have been this wife… this mother… I could have been in this home… but instead I am walking in an endless path... dark.. foggy… and silent


I am the runaway bride
I am the lost soul on earth
I am the one who is blinded with fear

And not them

My strange idea for today

If I ever hurt you… please forgive me... please forgive my fear

Why I turned into a runaway bride??!! That is what you will know in my next post… hope soon