August 12, 2008

The Runaway Bride

Ok .. I admit it… I am a runaway bride!!!

Yesterday I slept early, after taking one hell of a medication to ease my stomach ach… and In the silence and the darkness of my room, and under the effect of the medication… I started to think about myself, and asked a very simple question… why am I still sleeping alone in my bed? Why there is no warmth of a human being by my side telling me that I am not alone!!

The answer was presented in the form of flashes of many faces I knew in my life… faces that carry a cheerful smile… turned into sadness when I got out of their circle and continued my path.

Some of them were really good men… loving… warm… and caring to a great extent… but the problem was about me … me… the runaway bride.

I can think of only one scene now… walking on a long road, dark, foggy, and silent… lights from afar … warm and bright… I long for warmth… for a tap on my shoulders… a man standing at the entrance of a lovely home with a beautiful garden and with open arms… I stay for a while… watch the home from outside… enjoy his company… but when it is time to get inside the house… to have a life… to share my days and bind myself eternally to him … I panic… and run… run with all my strength… run as if a monster following me … run thinking that I left my demons behind… but I find out that they were running right beside me

When I know that any of them got married and had a life, I smile… I could have been this wife… this mother… I could have been in this home… but instead I am walking in an endless path... dark.. foggy… and silent

I am the runaway bride
I am the lost soul on earth
I am the one who is blinded with fear

And not them

My strange idea for today

If I ever hurt you… please forgive me... please forgive my fear

Why I turned into a runaway bride??!! That is what you will know in my next post… hope soon

1 comment:

Shimaa Gamal said...

Ok, I am still silent but I am trying to break this silence by a tag. You are tagged :)