April 29, 2009

Sadness Strike



disappointing others became my favorite sport these days

and i hardly can seem to do anything right


i lost my compass of life.. or - which is more accurate - i don't have one on the first place


lets go back with my memory to remember when i ever had one .. when i ever know what to do with my life .. when i ever did something for myself .. when i ever know who i am .. when i found my path .. !!!


answer is : NEVER


and because of that ... i suffer ... and make those who are around me suffer too


and because i am a self centered person i hardly can see where my blindness leads me


i only see my pain


consumed by my anger i became senseless .. and ill considerate of what others may feel .. depending heavily on a credit that i didn't built .. and that others have to consider my psychological problems


i feel like an angry elephant who is destroying every beautiful thing on his path without noticing .. just when i was faced with high wall that cannot be passed i looked behind ... and i started to see .. the destruction i made


but ... is it too late to make it up?


i broke many things .. in many people ..

precious things

things that even if they were repaired ... they are already cracked .. and the marks can never be healed


i have a problem

and i refuse to see it


and cause of it i lost precious people... who can never be replaced


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i can see sadness on their faces

sadness i caused

i .. the one who think she is the victim of the world ... but i end up to be the executor of beautiful feelings


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forgive me Racha for Failing you


forgive me Mai for not standing when i should


and you MOMO .. forgive me for hurting you deeply when u never deserved it


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GOD forgive me .. i am not bad.. i am just ....... angry .. and ......................................... Blind


please help me to release this anger .. help me to see the sun .. and restore what remains of me


Amen

4 comments:

Arabic ID said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sherif said...

The end of the world hasn't come yet ..

Everthing in the universe could be fixed .. unless we don't want

You tiny delicate petal .. don't waste your time when all people around love you .. I'm sure they do .. so why worry?

As for me .. you know .. I need you full feldged .. with all your power and strength .. cause you have a long and glorios trip ahead ..

They'll all forgive you .. cause they really love you

Miss Egyptiana "Trapped Soul" said...

Sherifthe question is .. why people loves me ???

thanks for being in my life .. you always know how to shed light on my dark days

Arabic ID said...

Egyptiana

I hope that our sadness has gone, I hope your heart is opened to life again but with new learned lesson.
or how you will fix any thing you broke if you didn't continue living learning about your faults and teaching others a new way to live.

hope to hear from you soooooooooon.