July 04, 2007


Four letters… one word

One word… owned a whole world

A whole world… based on one divine word

One word… made of four letters

Love has tricked me... with the evil within:

L: was Labeled as private properties, Lonely with and without him, Leaned on for every single detail of our relationship, Lamented the loss of my life till my eyes went dry

O: Obey all his wishes and commands, Owned as a vase, or in a better word as a pet, accept Offense to my womanhood and all what makes me me

V: Violation of my past, present, and future

E: The END of love relationship left me Empty, Enclosed, Embittered, Enraged, and Estranged

Might be overreacting, and exaggerating… but I am devastated… can fire give anything but smokes and ashes!!!!


this blog was forgotten... and by coincidence i found it... will i continue or stop... maybe and maybe not

ps: the used graphic is my own creation, hope you find it nice and expressive


gawafaa said...

One word… owned a whole world
i do believe in that
and its really wonderful post i liked it and the rest of the blog is so nice
good luck

Lost Love ( Found it now ) said...

Thanks God then that u were able to find the blog..

kindly if u dnt mind continue, wether it is strange ideas or not, u knw for me i would like to read about it and share my openion with u if u will allow me for sure.

Love can be many things it depends how u can see it

Miss Egyptiana "Trapped Soul" said...

dear gawafaa

thank you for your lovely words, and i am glad you like my blog...

good luck to you too with your blog and wish to see more of you always

Miss Egyptiana "Trapped Soul" said...

dearest lost love

you are always welcome in every blog i have... and your opinions are always appreciated

your last line describes my life philosophy that everything is relative... nothing is absolute

i am out of a long term relationship so love for me is a chain and a trap ... maybe when i am healed and get into another, i will see it as the magical word that will make all my dreams come true..

everything depend on how we see it ....

thanks again for passing by my corner and waiting for more of you

sandra said...

The pain is real and necessary. It's there to remind you of future loss. Not that it will come to be --- only if you ignore the warning signs of non-reciprocal love.

صاحب البوابــة said...

Good work


Miss Egyptiana "Trapped Soul" said...

dear sandra ...

i agree with you ... we always need to read the signs, but we are usually blinded by our emotions

i wont blind myself again .. i really learned the very hard way

Miss Egyptiana "Trapped Soul" said...

عزيزى صاحب البوابة

اشكرك :)

Anonymous said...

My dearest Miss Egyptiana
first of all i missed interacting with u here,sorry about my long silence
second plz dont stop allow us to read all those beautiful posts u wrote and kept ,as i can see they r so touching and beautiful as usual from u dear.
what u put about love can be true sometimes,specially when it is taken for granted
i 've always imagined love and being in love is like living in a dream without living real time life
it's like living both worlds all at the same time
sure there will be fights and arguments but at the end of the day with kiss and make up the two lovers will be happy again
that's how i imagine love,no party stubborn and always waiting for the other one to make a mistake and pointing to it
love is all about forgiveness ,it doesnt matter who is right or who is wrong as long as at the end of the day they r back together and no party ends sleeping alone
cause i do belive that when each partner goes at nite angry and upset from the other one without the kiss and make up
the gap increases and every minute that passes by increases the gap and make like a hole in the heart that will be irreversible
sorry talked too much but your post touched something inside of me as usual
thank u for sharing it with us here dear
plz continue writing:-)

Miss Egyptiana "Trapped Soul" said...

dear agenda

my love experience was all about taking ... and controlling ...

forgive and forget was my daily activity ...

bas as lost love said ... it depends on how we see it ... and i see it evil, covered with sweet words while it hods a trap within ...

god save us all

finding mimo said...

dear trapped soul,
i find your blog interesting, how ever you seem to me a much softer and gentler person than u discribe yourself, some of us try to pretend that they r tough as a self defence mechanism.
some of the toughest guys like to fall for bad boys or girls!
ya egyptiana my fear is maybe you are delebratly trapping yourself.
in the mean time take care of your self and keep up the good work.

Miss Egyptiana "Trapped Soul" said...

dear finding mimo

thanks for your analytical comment, you have an insight dear.

there are two specific sentences that attracted my attention, allow me to comment on:

"some of us try to pretend that they r tough as a self defence mechanism."

:) i was never able to hide that... but still it depends on what you mean by tough... i may not be evil or bad... i may not be cruel ... but i am tough, strong, like a rock

"ya egyptiana my fear is maybe you are delebratly trapping yourself."

read al manfa post in "dear diaries" my other blog and favorite one ... it tells specifically that it was upon my choice to exile myself ... why! cause i cant feel secure within the outer world .. does that make sense ?

finding mimo said...

dear egyptiana,
allow me to use your first name!, hope u r well,
i meant by tough being or seeming solid, no connection to evil or cruelty,
i read (almanfa) and i see what seems to be self exile in the midst of every one and every thing
but what struck me in the last three sentences the direct admission that it is based on useless ideas that brings only sadness and ruins, now that is a good revelation!
having said that i don,t discount the emotion because i personally have gone through it fromm the other side as a man.
at times i seemed to others as a social person how ever i had a comlete disconnect. also having had the bad habit of looking back proved excruciating!.
one tries to struggle my deer to see the brighter side, it's not easy.
i orderd (comedy central) in my cable since iam living in the us at this time and it helps!!
by the way your writting is beautiful in arabic and in english and i envy u for that.
one more thing i learnt from (almanfa)
you can fly! so leave the cage don't deprive us from the beautiful you.
best regards

Miss Egyptiana "Trapped Soul" said...

dear finding mimo
you have a very expressive name by the way... it is not an easy mission, and i hope u reach your target safely

as for your comment, thank you so much for your nice words, and let me again comment on few things :)

- i am full of contradictions that puzzle even the closest people to me... i dunno if this is good or not, but it is a fact i am living in ... as much as i am gentle and tender like petals, i have been thru a lot which make me solid as mountains ... but each face is revealed at a certain time

- i liked your phrase "at times i seemed to others as a social person how ever i had a complete disconnect"

same here... i may listen and interact, but out of the habit, and what i pre-programed my mind with ... but can never say out of usual human interaction... isolation is a curse, but sometimes i enjoy it

- no body it was easy to find the bright side, and walk the path ... who claim so is either a fool or a liar, and i don't think we are either or

- so u live in the US!! interesting exit :)

- thanks for the nice comment "by the way your writting is beautiful in arabic and in english and i envy u for that"

many people hinted to that fact, saying that usually people who are strong in one language are not in the other ... again and again there is no secret... languages are made for communication, and as long as u know the terms and words, u can then express yourself .. what's important is that it should come straight from the heart ... my secret is the harmony between mind and heart ... bas keda

- by the way you read my mind, cause i was gonna let the old me saying "you are still young, leave when u can"... but i didnt ... cause i wanna stay where i am at least for now... the outer world is too scary and i am still trying to get used of it

thanks again for your words and wish to see more of you again and again

finding mimo said...

dear egyptiana,
actually the word finding mimo is a misspelling of finding nimo how ever when i looked it up i found out that mimo means some kind of communication device so i kept it, because that's what we are doing after all.
-so you feel that u r full of contradection and u keep your closest people at their toes!! that's good ya egyptiana that can come in handy sometimes, however i can tell u because of that very skill i have paid a very heavy price i would not wish it for any one. so be carefull!
-isolation is not only a curse it is a self inflected punishment.
-as for finding the path i can only think of (forest gum) phrase
life is like a box of choclate you never know what u gonna get. that was a very good movie by the way.
-yes i live in the US but as the late bob marly sings u can't run away from yourself!!! i like it though.
-the comment about your language skills is more than a comment it is a statement of fact, how ever i disagree with those who think that if u r good in one language u r not in the other because i think along with many others that f u r not good in your first language u can't be good in any other.
and u said it (as long as u know the terms and the words then u can express yourself) and if u don't have that wealth in your own then it's a problem.. bas kida!!
if u feel it's ok to be where u r for now i can understand,
but u r a bird and birds like to move on. (someday)
the outer world will always have the same situation, but we can establish the sign that says no trespassing!!! aeh rayek?!
iam flattered with your statement to see more of me, because it's mutual feeling as a matter of fact
as soon as i got home u know what is the first thing i did?!
you guessed it! i read your post.

Miss Egyptiana "Trapped Soul" said...

dear finding mimo

you have mentioned that u payed a heavy price for contradictions... who didn't dear, but the point now, what's after paying... keep the contradiction and alienation, or mask our true selves and play normal :)

you are right about isolation when you called it self inflected punishment... but i still insist that it is enforced by others, bas u know what i never thought of establishing a sign that says no trespassing!!! that is a brilliant idea dear, but the problem is how to!! am afraid that it may turn into a new form of isolation and i would find myself in square one ... but anyway, i am trying to open up a little while keeping all my doors locked and only sneak thru my windows ... i need time ... lots of time to believe again

i love forest gump movie by the way, and the box of chocolate philosophy, but ... u still sometimes can draw your path, as you did ran to a another land...

u can read ayna al ma2wa in my other blog "diaries" u will find it talking about the idea of "you cant run away from yourself"

thanks again for your concern dear, and wish to hear always from you

be well

read my post

Arabic ID said...

the Love


as you see it is very definitive and mean killing , just say the love...in silence (a heart beat).

Miss Egyptiana "Trapped Soul" said...

dear Arabic ID

love is how you see it

sometimes butterflies and roses
sometimes bitter moments and pain